"My Cousin Fred"

He came, he saw, he trashed my room,
He pushed, he shoved, he broke a broom!
He sniffed, he snarled, I stood stock still,
He biffed, he bashed, my drink did spill! 

He mumbled, he grumbled, he kicked my door,
He grunted, he groaned, he stamped on the floor!

He's evil, he's mean, but I like him this way,
It's funny when my cousin Fred comes to stay!

He's trouble, he's bad, but it works out for me,
His thrashing and bashing just fills me with glee!
As my mum and dad think that Fred's the bad egg,
So I can be naughty and blame him instead!